


Matter of Time; Matter of Opportunity

by markwatnae (bertie)



Series: Alpenglow [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Broken Bones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Medical Procedures, Serious Injuries, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 18:45:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6251317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bertie/pseuds/markwatnae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi-Wan wakes up in the Halls of Healing after a terrible mission with a broken jaw. He does not realize until later how his experience had also fractured his spirit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Matter of Time; Matter of Opportunity

**Author's Note:**

> title is from the quote by Hippocrates:
> 
> "Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity."
> 
> italicized text is Obi-Wan speaking through their bond  
> bold/italicized text is Qui-Gon
> 
> there are two instances that describe medical procedures (specifically the insertion and removal of a chest tube) and while i don't go into detail, i felt it best to put a warning

When he wakes, Obi-Wan is disoriented and panicked. His vision is blurry, his heart racing with the adrenaline screaming through his veins. The bottom half of his face burns, sending a sharp ache up into his temples.

“Obi-Wan, it’s okay, you’re not in danger.”

He doesn’t recognize that voice.

**_It’s all right, love. You’re safe._ **

Qui-Gon’s presence in his mind is warm and soothing, helping him regain his senses. His vision clears slowly and then he can see the healers and Qui-Gon standing over him. This only serves to upset him further.

_What’s going on?_

**_You were having a nightmare and aggravated your injuries. When you woke, you weren’t fully cognizant when they tried to touch you and you fought back._ **

**_Do you remember what happened?_ **

He only remembers the transport to the planet. It was a decent flight, and Qui-Gon had held him while he slept.

_No._

**_Your jaw was broken in the fight. You aren’t able to open your mouth. If you need anything, you can use our bond to ask through me._ **

Obi-Wan relaxes as much as he can when he’s bed-ridden and surrounded by healers. Qui-Gon must sense his anxiety because he uses their bond to distract him while the healers work to undo the damage he did to his wounds. Hot tears slide down his cheeks and he feels Qui-Gon wipe them away with a gentle touch.

**_Are you struggling to release your pain?_ **

He can’t help the muffled cry he lets out when they press against his jaw.

_Yes. It’s too overwhelming._

Qui-Gon smoothes his hair back lightly, and eases some of his pain.

**_They’ve almost finished, dear one, and then you can rest._ **

_I’ve_ been _resting._

He can hear Qui-Gon’s laugh near his ear and his lips twitch up in a smile.

**_You never were patient when you were injured. Why should I expect anything less now that you are a Knight?_ **

Obi-Wan lets his laughter translate over their bond. _You should have expected it to be worse._

Qui-Gon’s fingers thread through his hair, stroking over his scalp and rendering him limp and pliable.

_Traitor._

**_Let them work and they will be gone sooner._ **

He focuses on Qui-Gon, his comforting presence in his mind and at his side, as the healers fix the bandages he pulled off in his sleep. He pours his gratitude over their bond whenever Qui-Gon pulls his pain away to keep him calm.

The healers begin to finish up and move away onto other tasks, and Obi-Wan can feel Qui-Gon’s relief when they leave with smiles and well-wishes.

“Obi-Wan,” the head healer starts, and he looks up at him. “Your jaw is wired shut so you cannot open or close it except for a few millimeters. Once your jaw has had a few days to rest, you can drink liquids on your own. When your jaw has healed enough, we will remove the wires keeping it closed and you will be able to eat soft foods. It is a lengthy process, but I have no doubt you will regain full function.”

Obi-Wan nods and gives the healer a small smile. When he’s gone, Qui-Gon moves to sit at his side. He looks exhausted.

_When did you last sleep?_

“I don’t remember,” he says, giving him a guilty smile. “I didn’t want to leave you.”

_Ask the healers for a cot, or go up to our quarters. You need to sleep._

“I’ll ask for a cot. I want to stay here with you.” He leans over and kisses Obi-Wan on the forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

Obi-Wan must have fallen asleep while he was gone because when he opens his eyes again, the lights are dimmed and Qui-Gon is asleep on a cot beside his bed. It’s very infrequent that Obi-Wan is awake when Qui-Gon is not so he takes full advantage. His hair is brushed back off his face and exposing his throat so Obi-Wan can see when he swallows reflexively. His tunics shift as he breathes deeply from his diaphragm, that slow, calm breathing of restful sleep. He deserves it after all he’s been through. Despite the cot being too short for his height, he seems to sleep comfortably. (Probably well acquainted with sleeping in places not made for someone so tall.) Obi-Wan wishes he could reach his hand where it rests on the cot by his head, but it’s too far.

He dozes off again curled up on his side, committing to memory his bond-mate’s peaceful expression.

—x—

Obi-Wan is pulled out of sleep with a sharp pain in his jaw. He lets out a pitiful noise, hands grasping at the blankets underneath him.

“Shhhh, it’s all right. I’m here.”

He recognizes Qui-Gon’s voice immediately.

“Can you open your eyes?” The request is soft and encouraging.

He peels his eyes open, blinking in the dim light. He’s tired and he would love to just go back to sleep, but Qui-Gon is smiling at him, gentle and sweet. He would do anything to just keep his eyes open long enough to remember that smile.

“How are you feeling?”

_A lot of pain._

Qui-Gon frowns and stands up, reaching out to lightly feel Obi-Wan’s jaw.

**_Your skin is hot. I hope it’s not infected._ **

His fingers are cool when they touch him, siphoning the pain away until he can breathe easily.

_Thank you._

**_You’re welcome, love._ **

He sits in his chair at Obi-Wan’s bedside, and his gaze is sad when he looks up at him, eyes sweeping over his face.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

Obi-Wan furrows his eyebrows, wishing he could properly frown.

_This is not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this._

Qui-Gon’s jaw clenches and he sighs, seeming too small for someone so powerful.

**_There were too many soldiers, and we got separated. I didn’t realize you were in trouble until you were calling across our bond. But your voice was so weak; I thought you were dying. I couldn’t come to you until I was free of my own danger, and I didn’t want to give the Council any reason to censure us. I talked to you over our bond, trying to make sure you were alright._ **

Qui-Gon looks down at his hands in his lap and Obi-Wan notices they’re shaking. He finally realizes how deeply affected Qui-Gon is by the whole thing, but he doesn’t jump to comfort him right away.

**_By the time I got to you, they had nearly killed you. I had no control over my emotions at that point. I killed all of them and hardly took the time to breathe. When I got to you, you were crying and you flinched away from me when I tried to touch you. I picked you up and carried you back to the spaceport and caught the emergency transport back here. They worked on you for eight hours before I could see you._ **

Obi-Wan doesn’t know what to say so he just slips his hand over the edge of his bed, reaching for Qui-Gon. He counts it as a win when he takes his hand.

_You did your job. You didn’t put me over the mission. Even if that mission when to hell as soon as we stepped off the ship. Now you get to watch me sleep all day and relish in the silence you’ve always wished for._

Qui-Gon smiles and Obi-Wan desperately wishes he could too.

In an attempt to distract him, Obi-Wan asks, _Can I have a kiss?_

That gets a chuckle. He laments that he can’t properly kiss his bond-mate, but just feeling Qui-Gon’s warm lips on his forehead is enough to soothe him.

“You should sleep. I’ll be here if you need anything.”

He closes his eyes and gives a please hum when Qui-Gon traces his fingers around the shell of his ear.

“Sleep now, my Obi-Wan.”

—x—

Even with the worst of his injuries concentrated on his face, Obi-Wan is confronted with many problems he didn’t expect. He misses food most of all, but it’s still too painful to drink anything on his own. He misses sleeping next to someone, being able to turn over and burrow into Qui-Gon’s arms.

The most annoying is the fact that he constantly needs help with something, be it sitting up in bed or reaching something or standing to stretch his legs. Just rolling over in bed hurts enough to bring tears to his eyes, especially if he agitates one of his lovely bone bruises. The healers are all in a fuss over him since his injuries are so extensive Force healing is practically useless. His body simply can’t handle the strain yet so he gets medicinal pain relief as well as slowly working to release the pain into the Force.

His incredible amount of pain makes him dizzy when he stands so he has a new bracelet that reads “Fall Risk” in big red letters. Qui-Gon had given him a sad, supportive smile when they’d clipped it around his wrist. All his ventures out of the bed are taken with Qui-Gon’s arm wrapped securely around his waist. Obi-Wan doesn’t mind so much because he’d rather not fall again. Hitting the ground had rattled his jaw and jarred his other injuries and left him gasping for breath so he is perfectly happy with preventing another one.

Since his attackers concentrated their efforts on his face and head, he healers continuously run neurological tests on him. After the third day of struggling to release his pain to the Force, Obi-Wan allows Qui-Gon to mention it. Then he has to sit through the healer sifting through his mind to search for any crossed connections or blocks. Obi-Wan has to tamp down on the urge to push them out when they brush over his bond with Qui-Gon, but a strong squeeze of his hand keeps him calm.

That stress alone leaves him tired and weak. Qui-Gon floods their bond with love and support while he speaks with the healer about what they found. His connection with the Force is weaker than it was before the fight, but it is likely to recover along with him. The healers will monitor its progress as he recovers, and Qui-Gon is more than happy to take away what pain he can.

Obi-Wan hates being trapped in this bed with healers constantly in and out of his room, asking him questions or touching him. He would much rather stay in their quarters to recover, but they’ve told him he can’t until they’re confident he can swallow liquids on his own. His jaw hasn’t stopped hurting long enough for him to manage anything more than a few sips of water, and even that was difficult.

Now, he is sitting up in bed trying to stop his head from spinning long enough to get to the bathroom. He presses the heels of his hands against his eyes and blows a steady breath out through his nose. Qui-Gon’s hands are cool where they sneak up under his tunic and rub his back.

“Will you allow me to carry you?” He asks, smoothing his thumbs along Obi-Wan’s spine.

 Obi-Wan makes a miserable sound, his whole body seeming to sink in on itself.

_No. Just help me walk._

Qui-Gon sighs heavily, but moves to stand in front of him as Obi-Wan slides to his feet. He grips Qui-Gon’s forearms tight, swaying slightly. He squeezes his eyes closed and tries to steady himself. The dizziness doesn’t subside, but he knows Qui-Gon won’t let him fall so he makes himself walk.

He pushes Qui-Gon’s hands off him and takes hold of the sink instead.

_I’ll be fine. I promise. Let me have this._

“I won’t save you from the healers if you hurt yourself,” Qui-Gon says, but his tone is teasing.

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes at him. When he sees himself in the mirror, the sight it startling. His face is mottled with some of the worst bruising he has ever seen. He barely recognizes himself past the swollen tissue and discolored skin. He’s already seen the metal holding his teeth and what is left of his jaw together and doesn’t particularly want to see it again so he keeps his mouth closed.

By the time he makes it back to his bed he is exhausted and his head is pounding. Qui-Gon sits beside him and strokes his hair lightly, dimming the lights without looking at the panel.

_Thank you._

Qui-Gon hushes him. Obi-Wan turns his face up toward Qui-Gon’s touch and is rewarded with the gossamer brush of his fingers along his cheek. The warm press of his lips against Obi-Wan’s forehead gets a little smile from him.

**_I do love it when you smile. I can’t wait to see it again._ **

_Maybe it won’t be as crooked._

**_That’s what makes it so beautiful._ **

_Flattery will only get you so far._

**_How far has it gotten me?_ **

Obi-Wan cracks open one eye to catch Qui-Gon’s smile.

_I’ll owe you a million and one favors after this is all over so I don’t know how much more I can give._

**_You don’t owe me anything. If I had a broken jaw, you would do the same for me._ **

_Of course I would._

**_So let me take care of you. Force knows this may be the only time you’re still for more than eight hours._ **

_I wish I could stick my tongue out at you._

**_I’m glad you can’t._ **

Obi-Wan purses his lips to the best of his ability, but that melts into a smile as he reaches out and pulls Qui-Gon’s hand closer so he can hold it on the bed.

**_I hope you can sleep tonight._ **

_I hope you can as well._

**_I’ve slept in worse places._ **

Obi-Wan smiles wryly and smothers a yawn. His eyes water with the strain but he finds that the pain is manageable enough to release on his own.

**_You need your rest._ **

He wants to protest, but his body betrays him. His eyelids feel heavy and his breathing his slow. When Qui-Gon reaches up and strokes his hair, Obi-Wan admits defeat and enjoys the sensation until he finally slips under.

—x—

Never would it be said in the Halls of Healing that Obi-Wan Kenobi is not stubborn.

His attitude has earned him a reputation among the healers and even without use of his mouth he still puts up a fight. He barely takes recommendations from Qui-Gon, who now refuses to be the healers’ messenger.

The only healer Obi-Wan is most likely to comply with is a woman a few years older than him named Telera. She is kind, and she doesn’t give into him so much as strike up deals. If he drinks a little more every hour, she will put in a good word with the head healer about letting him move back to his quarters. She allows Qui-Gon to help Obi-Wan stand and walk, supervising from the doorway. When Qui-Gon leaves for short periods of time, she sits with Obi-Wan and talks to him. She tries to explain to the other healers that forcing him will only push him to defy them, but they do not listen.

Qui-Gon leaves for a while to shower and get food in the dining hall while Obi-Wan is sleeping one afternoon. When he wakes, with no one in the room to see, Obi-Wan allows himself to face the emotions he’d only been ignoring since he woke up in this bed.

Even in childhood, he had been independent. He learned quickly how to soothe himself after a nightmare in the crèche, and when he was hurt, he found it easy to release the pain and fix the injury himself. That being said, his injuries were always very minor and he’d only ended up in the Halls of Healing once for treatment of a broken bone. His visits to the Hall were quick and simple, so to be trapped here for nearly two weeks is beginning to test his strength. Having to rely on everyone else for help is another strike against him.

Obi-Wan curls up under the blanket that is beginning to smell less like a hospital and more like him and cries.  It feels much better to cry than he thought it would. He releases all his grief and pain and helplessness and anger into the Force through his tears. He knows that some Masters would scold him, saying that Jedi are better than that and they should be able to release their emotions without coinciding physical release, but Obi-Wan thinks he deserves it after his ordeal.

He starts when he feels warm, calloused hands wrap around his arm and draw him away from the wall. But then he’s hit with that overwhelming presence of _safety_ and he lets go of his last shred of composure. Qui-Gon pulls him closer, wrapping him up in his arms and his love, and Obi-Wan buries his face in his neck. He reaches up to tangle his fingers in soft hair, but the catheter in his arm pulls on his intravenous line until someone unhooks it. He doesn’t think anything of it, instead focusing on purging his entire system of the toxic makeup of emotions he had boxed away to be forgotten.

Qui-Gon is murmuring to him, soft, sweet nonsense, and simply the sound of his voice helps to soothe his aching heart. His hands are firm where they rest on his back, warmth seeping through his tunic to remind him he is loved. As his wracking sobs dwindle to quiet, miserable hiccups, Qui-Gon eases him back and cradles his face in his hands, lightly and careful of his injuries. He wipes the tears away with the soft brush of his thumb, crooning at him when they start back up again. He eases his physical pain when he feels it flare, but he can only sit with him while he eases his own emotional pain.

Obi-Wan is grateful Qui-Gon doesn’t ask any questions when he’s finally calmed down. Telera slips in quietly to reattach his intravenous line and leaves without bothering them. He’s going to send her the biggest bouquet of flowers he can find after this is all over, even though she deserves the world for how kind she is to him.

“Do you need a drink?” Qui-Gon asks, and Obi-Wan just nods.

Sucking on a straw hurt, but the alternate is messy and difficult. Qui-Gon leans forward and presses a firm kiss to his forehead.

“I love you.”

_I love you too._

“Will you let me lie down with you?”

Obi-Wan moves immediately to accommodate his bond-mate’s large frame. He relaxes against his chest, exhausted and already tipping over the edge of sleep. Qui-Gon shifts slightly, dimming the lights and also sliding further down in the bed to cradle Obi-Wan close. He sighs heavily, curling closer and fidgeting until he can comfortably rest his head on Qui-Gon’s shoulder. His squirming is soothed by Qui-Gon’s long fingers combing through his hair.

“Are you comfortable enough?” He asks, his voice soft.

Obi-Wan hums contentedly. _Yes. Thank you._

A soft kiss to his forehead, and Obi-Wan is drifting off quickly. He wonders briefly if there was a Force suggestion behind that kiss.

_Cheater._

—x—

Obi-Wan gets restless as his other minor injuries heal. The pain from his jaw and the energy needed to heal it often quickly saps his desire to do much of anything but it helps that some things can be done in his bed.

To help his connection with the Force, he and Qui-Gon play a game taught in the crèche with a small glass sphere. Qui-Gon suspends it in the air and Obi-Wan has to take it from him without dropping it.

“Don’t grit your teeth,” Qui-Gon chides sharply, but his tone softens again. “Let it drop and start again.”

Obi-Wan releases his hold on the ball so it falls onto the bed almost halfway between them. He swallows thickly and takes a deep breath through his nose. He feels the little wash of support from Qui-Gon and gives him a half smile.

“Again.” He clips his tone like he is a Master training his Padawan.

He lifts the ball easily after a few deep, centering breaths. It inches closer to him, but it struggles.

“Do not strain, Obi-Wan. Relax and let it flow through you. And, _Force_ , breathe!”

Obi-Wan lets out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding and the sphere sags slightly, but doesn’t fall. He keeps his breathing even and focuses on the Force swirling around the room instead of the ball itself. After that, it is relatively simple for him to pull the sphere over and let it fall into his hand.

Qui-Gon grins at him from the chair at the foot of the bed.

“Well done.” His voice is warm and proud; it makes Obi-Wan’s stomach flutter with satisfaction. “Send it back to me and we will be done for the day.”

He must allow his emotion to show on his face because Qui-Gon smiles at him encouragingly.

“You can do it. I know you can,” he murmurs, and before he knows it, Obi-Wan has lifted the sphere from his palm.

He feels slightly winded once he drops the ball in Qui-Gon’s outstretched hand, and he reaches for the oxygen cannula draped over the railing of the bed. He’d woken up that morning with an extremely low oxygen level so he was supposed to wear the cannula to bring it back up. It had started to annoy him so he had taken it off to practice with the sphere. Qui-Gon moves to sit beside him and he reaches up to tuck the tubing behind his ear when it shifts out of place.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think—”

_It wasn’t you. I’m just not breathing very well today._

He gets a worried flash of **_what if they missed something_** before Qui-Gon can shield it.

But it is more concerning that he agrees with him.

_I should be further along in my recovery by now. This isn’t right._

He sees Qui-Gon expertly hide his own fear behind a mask of calm. He stands and presses a firm kiss to his forehead.

“I’ll be right back.”

Obi-Wan relaxes and tries to breathe deeply, greedily sucking in the oxygen. He feels as if his lung capacity has been diminished to barely a third and his ribcage aches in protest as he breathes in double-time.

**_It’s going to be all right. I promise you._ **

_That’s a steep promise._

**_Have I ever gone back on this promise before?_ **

Obi-Wan smiles. _No, not thus far._

**_Then I will keep this one as well._ **

Obi-Wan can feel Qui-Gon’s frustration. The Healers won’t listen to his concerns. As Obi-Wan’s anger flares, so does his shortness of breath. A white-hot spark of pain in his chest makes him gasp, but that only worsens the pain. He feels lightheaded, grasping desperately for consciousness.

_Something is wrong. Come quickly. Please._

When the Healers rush around him, he can’t even find the energy to be annoyed. They drop him flat on his back and someone leans over him, yanking out the wires holding his teeth together. He wants to ask why, but simply staying awake is difficult at the moment. They replace the cannula with a full oxygen mask and he tries to breathe it in. He gets a flash of the Healers’ panicked faces before he passes out. He wakes again instantly when something sharp cuts through the skin on the side of his chest.

He screams.

“Obi-Wan, it’s okay! Please stay calm.”

They are holding him down and he tries to fight back, but his thrashing is not strong enough to dislodge them. He’s too deprived of oxygen.

“Qui-Gon, please!”

A second later Qui-Gon is beside him, leaning over his head and smoothing his hair. Tears stream down his temples and drip over his ears, and his chest hitches as he struggles to breathe.

**_Focus on me, Obi-Wan. Your lung collapsed and they are trying to inflate it again. Please don’t struggle. It will only cause more harm. It will all be over soon._ **

Qui-Gon looks over his shoulder, but his face betrays nothing. He wipes his thumbs underneath Obi-Wan’s eyes, pushing the tears away.

**_Do your best to block the pain. I’m afraid it’s about to get worse._ **

Obi-Wan doesn’t have a chance. Before he can even take a breath, something is shoved between his ribs and he uses what meager air he has left to let out an ear-splitting howl. His vision swims and he wants so badly to give in, to just let go. His breathing is quick and painful. He doesn’t even have the energy to cry anymore and tears simply leak out of his eyes, rolling down his face. His only solace is Qui-Gon’s Force signature surrounding him, enveloping him in affection and love.

**_It’s over now, my sweet. You were very brave. I’m so proud of you._ **

He finds the energy to send back: _You sound like I’m your Padawan again._

**_You will always be my Padawan._ **

He chucks him under the chin lightly like he did when Obi-Wan was a child, and it makes Obi-Wan smile weakly.

**_But this is far more difficult than anything you have faced before. You are such a strong Jedi and I have no doubt you will conquer this as well._ **

He feels them taping a bandage against his chest. Qui-Gon reaches out and his hand comes back with a cloth. He uses it to dry Obi-Wan’s eyes and wipe the sweat from his forehead. His gentle touch does wonders to soothe Obi-Wan. As he soaks up the tears that have pooled in the hollows of his ears, Obi-Wan feels himself drifting.

_Can I sleep?_

**_Yes, you can. I’ll be right here if you need anything._ **

The soft touch of lips against his forehead is the last thing he feels.

—x—

“Your jaw was miraculously uninjured during the insertion of the chest tube despite the workout you gave it.”

Obi-Wan wants to laugh, but his pain is climbing and his ability to breathe is still not up to par. His jaw is wired shut again but he breathes through the small opening between his teeth to get more of the oxygen still pumping through his mask. He feels a little surge of humor from Qui-Gon at the Healer’s words.

“We will keep the tube in for a few days to drain the air surrounding your lung. After that, we can remove it and you should make a full recovery. Be careful if you shift around in bed because it could pull the tube out of alignment. If you have any problems breathing, let us know immediately.”

He nods and the Healer leaves the room.

All of his progress has been ruined.

**_You may have had a setback, but you will recover. Have patience, my love._ **

He doesn’t have the energy to be annoyed. He simply enjoys the love and support he gets from Qui-Gon across their bond. When he looks over at him, Qui-Gon is watching him with such tender adoration that it makes his face flush high on the apples of his cheeks.

**_You’re quite beautiful when you blush._ **

Obi-Wan scowls at him and Qui-Gon simply grins, standing from his chair.

**_Scoot over._ **

The command is less of a command and more of a _hold still while I move you_. Qui-Gon somehow always manages to move him without causing any discomfort. When Obi-Wan can lean back against his bond-mate, he is much happier. For good measure, Qui-Gon lays his hand on his abdomen and pulls the pain away from his chest.

_Thank you. For everything. You’ve put up with so much from me I’m surprised you’re still around anymore._

**_Stop that right now. You know for a fact I do not want to be anywhere else. I have not “put up” with you. I love you and I will always be by your side no matter the circumstances._ **

He leaves a soft kiss on his cheek where the oxygen mask’s strap cuts into his skin.

**_I love you more than all the stars in the sky, Obi-Wan. Please never doubt that._ **

Obi-Wan looks up at him with a humorless smile.

_I don’t doubt it. I’m still simply amazed someone loves me that much._

Qui-Gon’s frustrated surprise leaks over their bond, but he doesn’t say anything. His chest aches and nearly drowns out the pain in his jaw. He barely has the energy to breathe.

**_You need to sleep. I can feel your exhaustion._ **

He concedes and tries to shift to find a more comfortable position. When he jostles his chest tube, he nearly passes out from the pain. He settles against Qui-Gon’s chest, pillowing his head on his shoulder. Qui-Gon smoothes his hair back with a cool hand, brushing his fingers down his cheek.

“I will keep the pain at bay so you can sleep. Sweet dreams,” he murmurs, lips pressed to his hairline, and Obi-Wan feels the warm flush of love sweep through him as he dozes.

—x—

Now that Obi-Wan has even less energy, he and Qui-Gon spend most of their time talking. A favorite topic is the unbelievable events of past missions.

_Do you remember the time we had to climb that mountain on Alderaan?_

“And that mountain turned out to be a vertical cliff-face with almost no handholds?”

Obi-Wan smiles. _That’s the one._

Qui-Gon laughs. “How could I forget. You nearly fell on me three times, and I still have the scar from the one time you actually did fall on me.”

Obi-Wan wishes he could laugh too. _Your face was the best part of that injury._

Qui-Gon doesn’t feel the same. He purses his lips.

“What about the time you fell in the lake and I had to rescue you?” He looks smug.

_That water was freezing!_

“You looked like a drowned ewok when I fished you out. I did feel bad for you.”

_You gave me your cloak to keep warm. That was a terrible mission. Although, the mission to Hoth was the worst, by far._

Qui-Gon grimaces. “I agree. Even under those big coats it was absolutely freezing.”

_The one thing I remember most about that trip was how you always managed to position yourself between me and the wind. I was touched that you would sacrifice your comfort for me._

“If it hadn’t been so cold, I would have given you my own coat as well,” Qui-Gon says, and Obi-Wan smiles at him.

_You’ve always taken care of me._

Qui-Gon smiles sweetly. “I’ve always loved you, darling. My love has simply changed over time. But your comfort and well-being has always come first. I may have done a poor job of showing it in the beginning, but I’ve always put your safety above everything else.”

_I never doubted you. I knew I was safe in your care. There were only a few instances where you put me in a situation I couldn’t quite handle._

They both smile wryly.

“You were the best Padawan a Jedi could ever ask for. I’m still amazed at how you’ve grown and how far you’ve come. Sometimes I still see you as the little boy on Bandomeer. I hate to think I nearly didn’t have you in my life.” Qui-Gon looks sad, his eyes casting away.

_But you do have me in your life. And you’re stuck with me for the rest of it. Me and all the trouble I bring._

Qui-Gon laughs and Obi-Wan desperately wishes he could join.

“You do always seem to manage to find trouble if it doesn’t find you first. I suppose that is one reason I love you so much.”

He knows his face turns pink, but he doesn’t care when Qui-Gon looks so happy and content. He shifts onto his hip and moans softly at the lick of pain in his chest. Qui-Gon reaches out and touches him on the cheek. His concern is palpable and it colors the Force surrounding them.

_People aren’t going to see you as the depraved maverick after this._

Qui-Gon furrows his brow at him. **_They will be mistaken to underestimate me. Only you are afforded this kind of attention. I have only grown soft for you, my dear._**

Obi-Wan breaks into that sweet, beautiful smile that is only coaxed out by Qui-Gon declaring his love. To everyone but Qui-Gon himself, it is a rare sight to behold.

—x—

Obi-Wan doesn’t quite know what to do with the auburn scruff beginning to crop up on his face. No one is sure if it will impede the care of his injury, but they decide to let it be until an answer becomes more apparent.

Qui-Gon loves it. He sits opposite Obi-Wan on his bed and smoothes his thumbs across his cheeks very lightly. Obi-Wan wants so badly to grin at him and relish the lighthearted moment among the difficult past weeks, but he can only manage a quirk of his lips. He floods their bond with his amusement and gets a laugh in response.

“You should let it grow out,” he says, cupping his palm around Obi-Wan’s cheek.

_Maybe I will. If it doesn’t interfere with my stitches._

“You would look very nice with a beard, I think.” His voice is quiet, wistful.

_You’re getting soft in your old age._

“Hush, you.”

He sends an image of one of his cheeky grins, teasing and full of mirth, and feels the wisps of yearning in return.

“I do miss your smile.”

His bond-mate’s maudlin attitude is so far out of the ordinary it makes ice shoot down Obi-Wan’s spine.

_What’s wrong?_

Qui-Gon’s perfect posture falls and he looks much too old.

“Nothing of importance. I’ve been dwelling too much on what if’s. It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to meditate.”

_You mean since before my lung collapsed._

Qui-Gon looks tired. Obi-Wan hates how this injury has rocked them both.

“Yes.”

_Go. I’ll be alright by myself for a few hours. You need to take care of yourself._

“Call for someone if you need them. Call for me if nothing else.”

_I will. I promise._

Qui-Gon stands and leans down to leave a kiss on Obi-Wan’s hairline.

**_I love you._ **

_I love you too._

Somehow the hours pass uneventfully. Obi-Wan reads on his datapad, naps, and does a little light meditation of his own. It’s not easy in the loud Halls, but he prefers to meditate with his bond-mate anyway.

When Qui-Gon returns, his whole being seems lighter. His Force signature is its usual, glowing warmth and Obi-Wan can almost see its pulsing green energy in his mind. His smile is genuine and affectionate and it makes Obi-Wan’s skin prickle pleasantly.

_I’m glad you’re feeling better._

**_I share your sentiment. I admit I was not doing anyone any favors. Thank you for making me realize my mistake. I was simply allowing myself to wallow in my fears._ **

_Your fear of losing me._ Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow.

**_Yes._ **

A long moment passes. Qui-Gon looks up from their tangled fingers and his dark eyes are clear but full of something serious.

**_I am fully aware Jedi are forbidden to form attachments, but I feel it is my duty as the charlatan Qui-Gon Jinn to tell the Council to shove it because you are far more important than any Code._ **

Obi-Wan will vehemently blame his injuries and the pain medication for messing with his emotions, both of which are suitable claims, but neither are the reason his eyes well with tears at that moment. He doesn’t even attempt to hide, just sniffles and wipes at his eye as Qui-Gon sits there watching him. When he reaches out a hand to stroke Obi-Wan’s hair, he leans into it. Qui-Gon moves to sit on the edge of the bed.

“You knew from the start that we were meant to choose each other. I pushed you away because I was afraid. I was a coward. But I have seen the error of my ways and I do not plan on allowing you out of my sight ever again.”

Obi-Wan sits forward carefully to bury his face in his bond-mate’s shoulder, swallowing down a sob. He forces himself to stay calm. Crying will aggravate his chest tube and he does not want a repeat of its insertion. Qui-Gon smoothes his hair, pressing a kiss to the back of his head. His touch only serves to solidify his feelings. Qui-Gon loves him more than anything, more than the Order itself.

They don’t exchange words because the emotions swirling across their bond say enough.

—x—

**_I know you’re scared, but I’m going to help you shield. You’re stronger now and it won’t hurt nearly as bad. Take a few breaths; get ready._ **

Obi-Wan curls his fingers into Qui-Gon’s sleeve, tears already pooling in his eyes. He feels Qui-Gon reinforcing his own shield around his nerves. His presence is warm and soothing and unmistakable. He stares up into his bond-mate’s eyes, focusing only on their unique dark color and how they shine when their gazes meet. He is dimly aware of someone counting, tears slipping down his cheeks, and the white-hot flare of pain on the left side of his chest. But then it is smothered, covered up by the comfort only Qui-Gon can offer.

The healers want to put him in the bacta tank immediately. They had an innumerable list of reasons: it will expedite the healing of this new wound, keep his lung from collapsing again, finish the healing of his jaw, and clear up any remaining small injuries. He had protested at first, but finally relented. It might mean getting out of the Halls faster.

Qui-Gon leans down and kisses him several times on the forehead, nose, and cheek. His lips are warm and smooth, pressing firm against his skin.

**_You are so brave. I love you and I will be there when you wake up._ **

His last recollections are calloused hands on his cheeks and smiling blue eyes.

***

Obi-Wan’s hair sticks up at odd angles where they haphazardly dried it after removing him from the bacta tank. Qui-Gon is smiling fondly at him, reaching over to cover his shoulder with the towel draped across his chest. The lights are down low and the air is warm, keeping him from getting chilled.

“How do you feel?”

_Drowsy._

Obi-Wan pauses a moment, thinking back.

_I felt you._

**_I know how much you hate the bacta tank. I didn’t want you to be any more stressed._ **

_I love you._

Qui-Gon kisses him on the forehead. He doesn’t open his eyes immediately after he pulls away, focusing on the lingering warmth of his lips.

“Do you want to sleep?” Qui-Gon asks, his voice pitched low.

_Not yet._

Qui-Gon nods, pulling the chair flush to the side of the bed. Obi-Wan gets one hand out from under his pile of towels and blankets, reaching for Qui-Gon. He sighs contentedly when Qui-Gon wraps his hand up in both of his, massaging his palm and each finger.

“I brought you fresh clothes to put on. And some water in case you are thirsty.”

Obi-Wan finds himself drifting closer to sleep, but forces himself awake.

“No, don’t fight it, love. Your body is telling you it needs rest. Listen to it,” Qui-Gon encourages him quietly.

He dozes off, hand cradled in Qui-Gon’s underneath the blankets.

The second time he wakes, Qui-Gon is still beside him and he feels infinitely better. His chest barely twinges when he sits up to allow Qui-Gon to help him locate any remaining spots of bacta. The cloth is cool and damp where it touches his skin and his bond-mate’s hands are warm where they brush against him just to make him shiver.

The tunic Qui-Gon brought him turns out to be one of his own. It hangs off Obi-Wan awkwardly, but the fabric is worn soft and it surrounds him in that familiar, comforting scent. The pants do belong to Obi-Wan and they are his favorite pair in which to sleep. When he’s dressed again, he feels a little more like himself.

“Do you feel up to taking a walk?” Qui-Gon asks gently, resting his hands on Obi-Wan’s hips.

_I think I do._

Qui-Gon leans down to kiss him on the cheek. “Where would you like to go?”

_The star map room._

That gets a beautiful smile out of his bond-mate. It is Qui-Gon’s favorite room in the Temple. Obi-Wan has taken a liking to it as well, if only because it allows him to see Qui-Gon content and happy.

Qui-Gon keeps his arm around Obi-Wan the entire time, his hand resting lightly on his hip. The walk isn’t long at all, but Obi-Wan still sinks disgracefully onto one of the meditation cushions with a tired groan. He watches Qui-Gon cross the room with his long, easy strides and press the switch on the wall. The room is bathed in darkness before the stars and planets begin to appear. Qui-Gon settles beside him, but Obi-Wan crawls into his lap, leaning back against his chest.

_Show me your home again._

Qui-Gon reaches up and spins the stars lazily. When he’s satisfied, he stops their movement and touches the planet right in front of them. It’s a green and blue planet, rich in the Living Force.

Zooming in on a section of the planet surrounds them with an image of that place. Suddenly, trees have sprung up around them and a little creek flows at their feet.

“This is where I found your rock,” Qui-Gon murmurs.

Obi-Wan closes his eyes and focuses on the tender, reverent tone of Qui-Gon’s voice as he speaks about his home planet. He breathes deeply, allowing his mind to naturally ease into meditation. When Qui-Gon joins him, he feels warmth spread from his chest to the tips of his fingers and toes. His pain disappears and he focuses on healing his lingering wounds, visualizing the mending of his bones. He imagines himself with no metal in his mouth, tearing open a hard-fleshed fruit with his teeth alone. He feels Qui-Gon’s laugh in their bond.

 _It is the simple things_.

He imagines Qui-Gon’s hands on his face, his thumbs rubbing little circles on his jaw to ease his discomfort. Then Qui-Gon offers a vision of his own: Obi-Wan with a full beard, the soft auburn hair making him look older, more dignified. He feels Qui-Gon’s fondness for the new addition. Another image is offered, Obi-Wan with his friends, head tossed back as he laughs and his grin dimples his cheeks.

**_Very soon._ **

They sit and meditate together for a long time, breathing slowly and deeply in sync. When he comes back to awareness, Obi-Wan focuses on his senses. He can feel Qui-Gon’s warm hands on his belly, the gentle rise and fall of his chest against his back. The room smells cool and clean. Opening his eyes, he sees the stars moving slowly around the room, winking in and out of view. He can hear the muted bustle of the Temple and Qui-Gon’s breathing.

He feels more centered, more content than even before their mission. He knows Qui-Gon knew this would help him. His bond-mate always knows exactly what he needs. Obi-Wan sends a little wash of love and appreciation over their bond, and he hears Qui-Gon’s pleased hum in response.

A kiss on his cheek is a pleasant surprise. His heart feels whole.

—x—

A cool, calloused hand is smoothing his hair, brushing against his forehead. He instinctively leans into the touch, earning a soothing croon and more attention. Feeling safe and content, he drifts again.

When he wakes once more, Obi-Wan is pleased the lights are off. He feels like a bantha has been standing on his face for three days straight, but now he is able to accept his pain and release it into the Force. What he can’t release the medication in his intravenous line takes care of. He makes a soft noise of distress, mostly at the foggy-feeling in his head.

“Good morning, dear one. How do you feel?”

He would recognize Qui-Gon’s voice even in a crowd at one of Coruscant’s annual parades. He turns towards the sound and immediately regrets it.

“It’s all right. Easy now.”

Those familiar hands cradle his jaw with the utmost care, supporting his tender bones. He’s glad to see Qui-Gon doesn’t look exhausted or under-fed.

“You shouldn’t try to speak for a while. At least until the pain has lessened. You may sleep if you wish.”

He is tired, but he also desperately wants to enjoy his bond-mate’s presence after just surviving surgery again. He slips his hand out from under his blanket and reaches for him feebly.

“I’m right here, love. I’ve got you.”

His hand is enveloped in two larger ones and he gives him a tiny smile.

“You did very well. Your bones healed nicely, and you will be fully recovered in a few more weeks. We can go back to our quarters as soon as you feel up to it.”

He squeezes the hand in his and blinks drowsily. Qui-Gon ducks his head and kisses Obi-Wan’s knuckles.

“Go to sleep, Obi-Wan. I will stay here at your side.”

On their slow trip back to their quarters, they run into Bant. She’s delighted to see Obi-Wan finally outside the Halls of Healing and without metal in his mouth. He’s glad to see her and accepts her hug with a tired, swollen smile. She promises to come visit him and bring him his favorite soft foods once he’s up to eating them.

Obi-Wan is beyond relieved to be back in their quarters. He goes to the window and touches the petals of a flower Qui-Gon had been growing that bloomed while he was in the Halls. Qui-Gon wraps his arm around him and kisses his forehead lightly.

“I’ll move it to your side of the bed,” he offers, and Obi-Wan’s stomach flips like he’s falling in love for the first time again.

He leans his head against his chest and watches the midday traffic outside their window.

Qui-Gon helps him take a shower to get the smell of the Halls off his skin. They manage to keep his wounds from getting wet, and when he redresses, Qui-Gon wraps him up in one of his own tunics. Obi-Wan pulls the collar up to his nose and breathes deeply, smiling when Qui-Gon catches him. He manages to eat a few spoonfuls of soup when his stomach growls, but as soon as he does his appetite vanishes again due to the anesthesia working its way out of his bloodstream.

Before he lies down to rest, he retrieves his river rock from its place on the shelf in the main room and sets it on the bedside table beside the flower. Qui-Gon had asked for extra blankets from the quartermaster before Obi-Wan was even released and now he spreads them out at the foot of the bed in case he needs them. When Obi-Wan finally curls up on their bed, surrounded by the familiar mixture of his own and Qui-Gon’s scents, he takes his rock from the table and curls his fingers around it. After merely a second, it warms in his hand and surrounds him with its comforting signature. He sets it back in its place next to the flower.

He wakes when the bed dips slightly, blinking up at Qui-Gon as he settles next to him. The older man rests back against the wall, his own meal in his lap.

“Go back to sleep, darling. I’ll watch over you,” he croons, stroking messy auburn hair away from his eyes.

Obi-Wan watches him for a moment, just enjoying the peaceful moment finally back in their room. He dozes off again without realizing and when he opens his eyes again, he is tucked up close to Qui-Gon’s chest and he feels heavy with sleep. It’s a good, lethargic feeling like this time sleep has actually helped his healing.

“Hello there,” Qui-Gon rumbles, and Obi-Wan looks up with a drowsy smile.

“Hello,” he whispers.

Moving his jaw is uncomfortable, but it is so satisfying to say that one word. But there is something more important he needs to say. Before Qui-Gon can reply, his eyes shining with unshed tears, Obi-Wan tests his voice again.

“I love you.”

Those tears fall now, but Qui-Gon is smiling and leaning in to kiss him so softly. He kisses him back, relishing in the simple press of their lips. He is so happy to be back in their quarters, in their bed, and kissing his bond-mate for the first time in nearly two months. Qui-Gon’s broad hand rests lightly on his cheek, soothing his discomfort as much as encouraging his kiss.

The rest of his long recovery doesn’t seem so harrowing with Qui-Gon at his side.


End file.
